Broken...

So I just feel I can't get things right. Even though the other teachers tell me, "Don't take it personal..." I just feel that I can't teach some days. Other days I feel that I have the greatest experience ever with the kids. I guess I just need to hold onto something to get me through the day. Some of these kids have gotten nothing but the general "you won't graduate" spiel from one teacher or parent or some other adult and I feel that they have these pre-designed resentments already in practice when I get them in my classroom. How does one teach, if another is unwilling to learn?

Another disturbing thing that I have been mulling over is a book I happened upon the other day in the Young Adult section of Borders. It was a book called, "The Teenage Liberation Handbook: how to quit school and get a real life and education" and it disturbed me so much I am writing about it. There was a chapter on Teachers and to tell the truth it made me feel inconsequential and basically make me want to change my profession. Everyone should just educate themselves I guess. I don't teach because I want to control. I teach because I love literature and I love English. Apparently to the woman who wrote it didn't believe in this sort of thing. I feel cursed with my profession and am currently thinking of going back to school for another career next semester. I feel everything I will do will not affect anyone and it will be a waste of my life to teach something nobody wants to learn about.

I feel so insignificant.