This year has been particularly stressful for me. I have gone back and forth between wanting to quit my job at the drop of a hat to wanting to teach my whole career because of the potential I see in a few bright students. Overall I feel that teaching was a good choice, but now I feel I need to move up the ladder, so to speak, in the education world. I may only be 25 years old, but I need more rigor in my day to day than just the mindless drivel I am forced to teach. (Thus why my students find me extremely hard, because I find a way around what I HAVE to teach to what I need to teach...)
I am both proud and disappointed in myself for this year. I feel like I made an impact on a few students this year, but I still feel that I failed so many seniors and they will not be ready for life outside of school. It scares me. One tidbit of hope I did get today was a philosophy paper I have my seniors write for their portfolio. In it, this student talks about being "straight edge," which means that they don't partake in drugs, alcohol, or sex. She spoke about how she doesn't understand why people think she's boring because of this and why all of the kids her age go to raves, get drunk, and have sex. This paper let me know that at least one student will be going out of here on the right path. I really hope she keeps those beliefs and holds on tight. This world is crumbling down around our ears and we're too busy to even notice it.
Hopefully the end of the year will come uneventfully and I will continue to fight the good fight against ignorance next year. Who knows where my path will lead though...I could end up losing my job because of all of the budget cuts. I can only hope and pray I will have a job next year.
Tuesday, April 20, 2010
Tuesday, May 12, 2009
The Great Gatsby
I should've never waited so damn long to teach this novel.
Those are the words that continually flash through my mind everyday I teach my juniors. I am having no success at all and I wish I would've taught this novel earlier in the year. I should've taught it after Huck Finn. I love F. Scott Fitzgerald's descriptive writing and elaborate vocabulary, but my students upon seeing a word they do not know instantly hate the novel and say it is confusing. I have tried explaining the novel to them in the most simple manner, but it seems to elude them at every explantion.
When will it get easier? I feel I have not come into my own when it comes to teaching novels, except for Fahrenheit 451. I absolutely love that book and the message it sends to my students, especially because I don't preach on the censorship issue as much as I focus on the criticism of modern society and how the novel eerily captures how our society is turning individualistic with more and more focus on materialism and advancing yourself no matter the cost to anyone else.
This may be a rant about modern society and how The Great Gatsby is also eerily aware of how relationships and class divides work, but more importantly it's about the relevance to students of today. I feel that many of the students take the novel in a more modern pretext and they imagine that it is present day and they can't immerse themselves into the history of the time period. Bootlegging, speakeasies, flappers, and the economic boom after the first World War; easily a time to which they can relate since these events have impacted modern society.
This whole post may be random tangents of my thought processes, but the main point I am trying to get at is why am I teaching this novel to students who are already so challenged by picking up the simplest novel, when I could focus my energies on having them read something more appealing and modern? I am just literally at a loss as to how to approach teaching this novel. I wish I knew of a better way to get the students actively involved.
Those are the words that continually flash through my mind everyday I teach my juniors. I am having no success at all and I wish I would've taught this novel earlier in the year. I should've taught it after Huck Finn. I love F. Scott Fitzgerald's descriptive writing and elaborate vocabulary, but my students upon seeing a word they do not know instantly hate the novel and say it is confusing. I have tried explaining the novel to them in the most simple manner, but it seems to elude them at every explantion.
When will it get easier? I feel I have not come into my own when it comes to teaching novels, except for Fahrenheit 451. I absolutely love that book and the message it sends to my students, especially because I don't preach on the censorship issue as much as I focus on the criticism of modern society and how the novel eerily captures how our society is turning individualistic with more and more focus on materialism and advancing yourself no matter the cost to anyone else.
This may be a rant about modern society and how The Great Gatsby is also eerily aware of how relationships and class divides work, but more importantly it's about the relevance to students of today. I feel that many of the students take the novel in a more modern pretext and they imagine that it is present day and they can't immerse themselves into the history of the time period. Bootlegging, speakeasies, flappers, and the economic boom after the first World War; easily a time to which they can relate since these events have impacted modern society.
This whole post may be random tangents of my thought processes, but the main point I am trying to get at is why am I teaching this novel to students who are already so challenged by picking up the simplest novel, when I could focus my energies on having them read something more appealing and modern? I am just literally at a loss as to how to approach teaching this novel. I wish I knew of a better way to get the students actively involved.
Wednesday, April 29, 2009
Vendettas, Bad Days, and Post Secret
Every teacher has their bad days. Their lesson doesn't go smoothly and everything is in disarray and the kids are on crack or something similar and the whole day you are the one watching the clock and and not other way around. Well, that day was today. Let's give you the back story...
My fiance and I are in the process of buying a home. I was supposed to hear by 6 tonight whether or not they accepted our offer or counter offered. Well, all day I waited in anxiety. I wasn't even thinking about class, but just about what my realtor would say to me when she called. I couldn't sleep last night because of all the anxiety that had built up and there was no way for me to release it. So that's where my bad day started. I tossed and turned (literally) all night until I took a sleep aid to help me get some shut-eye. Well, to my surprise, I awoke at 6:05 a.m. when I normally wake up at 5:40. So already I knew I was in for one and while I was in the shower I considered calling in sick because I had this feeling of dread about how the day would turn out. In my head kept replaying the ice cream truck music from the night before and I thought I would go insane.
I got to school, got my things ready for 5th hour and started the day off. 5th hour went by without any glitches, except for the package I was supposed to get wasn't anywhere to be found. 6th hour came and went without much flair, just the usual monotonous work of my lazy seniors "working" on their writing portfolios. But after 6th hour, still no package and still no word from my realtor. Ugh...could this day go by any slower. My prep came and went and 8th hour was upon me. My 8th hour...boy are they a treat. Disrespectful to a T. The mix of kids in class do not do it justice and it would be decent if it weren't for a few particular girls in the class. Actually one girl, who by the way has a personal vendetta against me. Probably still from when I called her out on plagiarizing one of her poems. Since then she has given me nothing but attitude. The funniest part is that she told another teacher who she T.A.s for that I single her out! Can you believe that! These kids get away with murder nowadays and it just kills me. I would've never, in million years said that about a teacher. Good grief...
So my 8th hour was out of control like usual, that girl was a total snot, and my package was delivered to the wrong address in a wrong town. Plus on top of all that, they can't give me an answer to my house offer until tomorrow...
Some days just need to be over and this one is way past overdue. The only thing that cheered me up a little was by reading my favorite blog, Post Secret. It is always good to go on there and read what others are thinking. Only 1 month of school left, and then it is sweet freedom for about 2 months for me.
My fiance and I are in the process of buying a home. I was supposed to hear by 6 tonight whether or not they accepted our offer or counter offered. Well, all day I waited in anxiety. I wasn't even thinking about class, but just about what my realtor would say to me when she called. I couldn't sleep last night because of all the anxiety that had built up and there was no way for me to release it. So that's where my bad day started. I tossed and turned (literally) all night until I took a sleep aid to help me get some shut-eye. Well, to my surprise, I awoke at 6:05 a.m. when I normally wake up at 5:40. So already I knew I was in for one and while I was in the shower I considered calling in sick because I had this feeling of dread about how the day would turn out. In my head kept replaying the ice cream truck music from the night before and I thought I would go insane.
I got to school, got my things ready for 5th hour and started the day off. 5th hour went by without any glitches, except for the package I was supposed to get wasn't anywhere to be found. 6th hour came and went without much flair, just the usual monotonous work of my lazy seniors "working" on their writing portfolios. But after 6th hour, still no package and still no word from my realtor. Ugh...could this day go by any slower. My prep came and went and 8th hour was upon me. My 8th hour...boy are they a treat. Disrespectful to a T. The mix of kids in class do not do it justice and it would be decent if it weren't for a few particular girls in the class. Actually one girl, who by the way has a personal vendetta against me. Probably still from when I called her out on plagiarizing one of her poems. Since then she has given me nothing but attitude. The funniest part is that she told another teacher who she T.A.s for that I single her out! Can you believe that! These kids get away with murder nowadays and it just kills me. I would've never, in million years said that about a teacher. Good grief...
So my 8th hour was out of control like usual, that girl was a total snot, and my package was delivered to the wrong address in a wrong town. Plus on top of all that, they can't give me an answer to my house offer until tomorrow...
Some days just need to be over and this one is way past overdue. The only thing that cheered me up a little was by reading my favorite blog, Post Secret. It is always good to go on there and read what others are thinking. Only 1 month of school left, and then it is sweet freedom for about 2 months for me.
Sunday, February 22, 2009
What is it all for?
The end of the year swiftly approaches and I am almost done with my second year in education. I have just applied to a college for more information regarding an associate's in Graphic Design. I am also enrolled in the Educational Technology program through the state. I have my last parent teacher conferences the next two nights and the beginning of placement for the boys' soccer team. So much is happening all at once and I am stuck here at a crossroads wondering, "Why do I teach English? Really, what good is it doing?"
It's a question I ponder every once in awhile and again, as I sit here on my couch getting things ready for Fahrenheit 451, I wonder if Bradbury could tell me. I don't want my students to be morons or ignorant to the big, vast world that is waiting for them. I want to prepare them with the skills necessary to become productive individuals in the workforce and in society. In the grand scheme of things, who cares if you read F451, or if you can spell ignominious correctly, or even if you know how and when to use who or whom? English isn't about those things, those are just a few of the "things" that make up what English is about. What happens in the English classroom on the other hand is the important part. Relationships that are built, guidance that happens (sometimes by mistake), and knowlede that is passed on; those are the most important aspects of English in a high school.
I just hope I can keep this up.
It's a question I ponder every once in awhile and again, as I sit here on my couch getting things ready for Fahrenheit 451, I wonder if Bradbury could tell me. I don't want my students to be morons or ignorant to the big, vast world that is waiting for them. I want to prepare them with the skills necessary to become productive individuals in the workforce and in society. In the grand scheme of things, who cares if you read F451, or if you can spell ignominious correctly, or even if you know how and when to use who or whom? English isn't about those things, those are just a few of the "things" that make up what English is about. What happens in the English classroom on the other hand is the important part. Relationships that are built, guidance that happens (sometimes by mistake), and knowlede that is passed on; those are the most important aspects of English in a high school.
I just hope I can keep this up.
Monday, January 26, 2009
Writing in an Illiterate World
I have found through teaching my juniors that persuasion is a thing that most people use on a daily basis. I have also found that by teaching something step-by-step they seem to actually understand it better. I have also found that through modeling what I want through writing my own essays and sharing them with the students, they seem to see that, "Yes, if my teacher does it, I can do it too, it IS possible."
Of course, with this I have ran into my critics, but not everyone will like my style of writing and I know I am not the best writer either, but at least I am sharing my writing. That is the only way to prove a point I think, is by actually trying something yourself and not just talking at the students. They need to see that you can do it too and that it is a feasible project for them to undertake. If there is no connection with the real world, then they won't see the worth in what you teach. There are many real-world applications to writing, but my students, they just don't see it yet. Hopefully by the time they leave my classroom they will have the basics down.
One can only hope...
Of course, with this I have ran into my critics, but not everyone will like my style of writing and I know I am not the best writer either, but at least I am sharing my writing. That is the only way to prove a point I think, is by actually trying something yourself and not just talking at the students. They need to see that you can do it too and that it is a feasible project for them to undertake. If there is no connection with the real world, then they won't see the worth in what you teach. There are many real-world applications to writing, but my students, they just don't see it yet. Hopefully by the time they leave my classroom they will have the basics down.
One can only hope...
Sunday, January 4, 2009
Back to School...
Going back to school tomorrow feels extremely stressful, but yet at the same time I can immerse myself once again into the English curriculum. I am still trying to set some New Year's Resolutions about my teaching career and I feel that I will never be able to move on to teach at a college.
I hope I will someday.
Knowing that I have a few more hours to spend getting prepared for tomorrow and the rest of the week makes me feel a little less stressed. There is so much to do as Term 2 comes to a close. My juniors will be finishing up poetry, my seniors will be finishing up Alice's Adventures in Wonderland. I will be moving on to teach Fahrenheit 451 and do some lessons on grammar, resumes, letters, and some other things...we'll see. I just hope the kids will be a bit more motivated than me, since I am not during this time of year. I need to teach something that has some kind of bearing on myself as well. I love doing research on things I haven't taught before, but I worry that I won't know enough.
I hate feeling unintelligent, even though sometimes I like to hide behind my ignorance...
I hope I will someday.
Knowing that I have a few more hours to spend getting prepared for tomorrow and the rest of the week makes me feel a little less stressed. There is so much to do as Term 2 comes to a close. My juniors will be finishing up poetry, my seniors will be finishing up Alice's Adventures in Wonderland. I will be moving on to teach Fahrenheit 451 and do some lessons on grammar, resumes, letters, and some other things...we'll see. I just hope the kids will be a bit more motivated than me, since I am not during this time of year. I need to teach something that has some kind of bearing on myself as well. I love doing research on things I haven't taught before, but I worry that I won't know enough.
I hate feeling unintelligent, even though sometimes I like to hide behind my ignorance...
Thursday, January 1, 2009
Dwindling...
New Year's Day...only three days until I go back to work. I've really enjoyed my two weeks off and I am already counting down the days until I have summer break. I know, it's sad, but I really have been enjoying this "me" time I've been getting. Lots of time to think, reflect, plan, and worry about what the end of the year will bring. Moving to a new high school next year, hopefully coaching the boys soccer team, starting my Ed Tech classes. Continuing to try and keep in contact with friends from college and high school.
I did however get to go back home to North Dakota for about a week and spend time with my family and take care of my mother for a few days after her surgery. I also got to see my best friend and it's the little things in life that make me truly happy. Sharing a conversation, drinking an ice-cold beverage, hugging, sharing secrets, and enjoying how the snow sparkles are just some of the things I know I will miss until I see my friend again. Hopefully with the New Year some of my kids will have made resolutions to make education a priority.
One can only wish...
I did however get to go back home to North Dakota for about a week and spend time with my family and take care of my mother for a few days after her surgery. I also got to see my best friend and it's the little things in life that make me truly happy. Sharing a conversation, drinking an ice-cold beverage, hugging, sharing secrets, and enjoying how the snow sparkles are just some of the things I know I will miss until I see my friend again. Hopefully with the New Year some of my kids will have made resolutions to make education a priority.
One can only wish...
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